I'm losing it. But seriously though, not like "please give me attention I'm so unique and crazy XD", I'm legitimately losing my mind. Loneliness is crushing my soul. I don't know what to do, every single moment I'm just trying to find a way not to be reminded of the notion of being completely unwanted by everyone. Yesterday I broke down three times, and twice again today since I woke up. Where did I go wrong? Why must I endure this alone? Have I not suffered enough already? I have no motivation to do anything. I wish there was a "skip to next chapter" button in real life so that I could just avoid this, even if it meant losing 10 years of my life, after all, the past 3-4 years of my life have been nothing but complete stillness and trying to cope with my situation. Now I don't even have the strength to do that. Everything bores me, even the things I like I can't do for more than a few minutes. Every day, every hour, every minute, every second is just being painfully aware that I'm alone in this. I think I need help, but I also think there's no one who can help me but myself because everyone, and I mean everyone, has turned their backs on me. I feel defeated, a person can't carry all this pain, it's overwhelming and it's drained me of all my energy.