/r9k/ - robot9000

>>5136 (OP) 
I had a sexuality when I was that age too and I did not watch porn. Don't blame your genes on pornography. Chicken before the egg paradox. Does a non-human animal watch it? No. It's genetic. Wanting a role model is sheep behavior, like caring who the sherrif or president or king is when the people will always be the man's power. It reeks of not wanting autonomy to crave a leader. If you can't pick anything up you might have ADHD. When was the last time you read a book? If every time a girl's name shows up and you have to fap that's ADHD in my opinion more so than being a sex maniac. Also you have low self esteem for no reason  and that reason is not having sex. Why have sex when most women can't have an orgasm via PIV anyway? What is it that you really want? To have a degree, be in college debt, and then pay child support after she leaves you to chase an even more high status male? Elephant in the room, you think porn made you not have a gf, right? No, people are bad and you and I know it or you'd not type "every person who's consistently in my life is a fucking lunatic" and that you don't want to be around them. You don't like people. You are a robot. Men have no friends and women are bad now days due to shitty societal rules that put women above men. THis means that you may only ever have business partners. As it is they are all jewish as hell and so basically I hope you get a government check as an apology for themn failing to indoctrinate you into sheephood. They need to pass a law for us and call it something like 'the anti-school-shooting check bill' or some such. 

Eventually you may cum full circle and fap to vanilla porn due to being tired of the new fetishes. If not then you have some genetic tendency that makes you want x fetish and that had nothing to do with porn 'addiction'. Like a puppy settling down you might start reading books too, especially if you are not yet done with puberty. Are you 25+ yet? I read more after puberty.

>>5136 (OP) 
You could probably argue that the digital world has destroyed your ability to interface with reality. The fact you used the word interface is evidence. 

You should consider reading The Shallows by Nicholas Carr

>>5137
>Wanting a role model is sheep behavior, like caring who the sherrif or president or king is when the people will always be the man's power.
I want a role model because I want to be a better person but I don't know what a better person looks like. I want to see how someone else navigates life's hazards because every attempt I've personally made to do so has ended in failure.
>When was the last time you read a book?
To completion? A month or two ago. It was an old one from middle school. It felt good even if I didn't get through it all at once.
>If every time a girl's name shows up
Not even necessary. I naturally gravitate to pornography and masturbation when I'm not otherwise occupied - some days I wake up and, once I see nobody's online and nothing available to me catches my eye, I start jacking off because I don't feel like I have anything better to do with my time. It's become a standard form of recreation, first nature, and I don't know how to make that change.
>Also you have low self esteem for no reason
I have low self esteem because of consistent failures to do any of the things I genuinely want to do - engage with media, read stories to completion, focus on what's in front of me, succeed in any capacity. I feel like a failure because I regularly fail.
>Elephant in the room, you think porn made you not have a gf, right?
I didn't bring up romance in any capacity. I don't care, at this point, about not having a girlfriend. I want to feel like a human and I want to be able to do things I love. Romance is off the table indefinitely because I'd rather settle into not suffering from such extreme sleep deprivation that it hurts to walk before I start trying to seriously navigate social situations.
>inb4 "porn doesn't stop you"
There is near-total overlap between the happiest times in my life and times when I stopped masturbating for days or weeks. My goal is to make those times happen deliberately instead of having them just be something that happens sometimes.
>Eventually you may cum full circle and fap to vanilla porn due to being tired of the new fetishes.
This already happened. I'm still stuck on porn, I'm just stuck on tamer and better porn now. It's probably better for me but I refuse to view it as good.
Regarding A.D.H.D. I got my mental health evaluated and I did get confirmed autism

>>5138
Quite possible, but I think the inherent pleasure provided by pornographic media has significantly worsened it, particularly as I find most non-pornographic digital media to be just as difficult to engage with as physical media or most things in reality.

>>5139
Rather than assume the porn made you unhappy perhaps you did not need the porn because you were already happy. Correlation does not equal causation. A role model won't increase your potential. No one deliberately makes mistakes anyway. Why take yourself so seriously? Pride's a sin you know, though personally I'm a fan of all seven. 

If not having a gf doesn't matter to you then why are you posting ont he /r9k/? That's like saying virginity has nothing to do with posting on wizchan. 

When you were not fapping and you were happy what were you even doing? Was it your gf? I bet it was your gf, and if not then your instincts told you that your lack of a gf made the activity depressing. When I watch a tv show sober or play a video game sober I feel depressed that no one is there to converse with the stuff about. That's your instincts to be talking about your day at a dinner table with your wife and kids and such. Achieve something for what, also? An instinct to impress a girl, being of high  status, that's just another gf craving instinct isn't it? 

inb4 you were happy as you literally hate fapping and cannot help it. Addiction means you like it. Don't spew idiotic normalfag memes at me about how choice isn't real then turn around and virtue signal that you need a big tall man to teach you how to make choices and call that leader, that tyrant, your role model, as you'd be lobbying for a master at that point. Is that what you want? I can link you an antiandrogen website if you really hate fapping so much. 

Do you even have a strong father figure? Is this a christian angst thread if it is indeed about lust being le bad? Pride is bad if so. Stop trying to win or go full sinner and be proud of lust. If you have no father then be a bastard and stop trying to be impressive. 

Perhaps you really have fried dopamine receptors but the opposite side of that coin is that some brains need more fun that other brains and you might have been gaslit into seeing yourself as spoiled when it's your very nature. 

Why yes I am an enabler; thanks for noticing!

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The porn is just a symptom, not the cause cause of your distress.
I know it's easier said than done, but find something else to occupy your mind with - ideally something in the real world that gets you away from the internet.
Stop being neurotic about sex. Whack off when you have to, but never watch ((( porn ))). simple as.

>>5142
>The porn is just a symptom, not the cause cause of your distress.
Agree. Been in the same boat. What helped was doing something else.
Socializing daily didn't work, nor meeting new people, exercising regularly, eating right, having role models, being financially stable or anything else.
But when I have another addiction like a game that I'm really enjoying, a long series that is fun to watch, I stop to even think about porn.

>>5142
>I know it's easier said than done, but find something else to occupy your mind with - ideally something in the real world that gets you away from the internet.
I know this is what I have to do, I'm just not sure how to actually do it. I don't have any interests that can't be met digitally, I live in a podunk town where nothing happens that doesn't involve alcohol, and I'm not sure how to even find something to do off the computer.

>>5143
>But when I have another addiction like a game that I'm really enjoying, a long series that is fun to watch, I stop to even think about porn.
Very true. I have found myself in those states before and they're very nice. My issue is that I don't know how to make them happen, almost every piece of media I look for to fill that void turns out to be either total shit or too complicated for me to get into as an entry-level interest. I went over this in my original post.

This is probably a terrible suggestion, but what if someone like OP leaned into his problem instead of fighting it head on?
What I mean by that and what I'm considering here is the stereotype of some maniac mangaka who embraces his perversions and compulsions such that he spends nearly all his waking hours trying to illustrate his ideal women or fetish and despite wallowing in degeneracy finds a way to create something of value from a compulsion that he has long since given up on resisting and resigned himself to. A sort of Make porn, don't watch it type of argument.
Terrible advice for anyone striving to live a normal life, but as someone who long ago gave up on any notion of normalcy and embraced being a hermit who spends most his waking hours fucking about in the arts to the extent of not sleeping and skipping meals when obsessing over completing a project, that's about all I've got

>>5145
>leaned into his problem instead of fighting it head on?
Actually worse.
The problem with porn is that it numbs parts of a normal social response everyone have.
The more you consume the more intense porn you need to hit,. When you are addicted you start watching way fucked up stuff like it's normal.
Even if you gave up everything it destroys brain activity.

You use drawing as an example but all perv artists were artists before they started drawing porn. And they are not brain rotted porn addicts, just pervs. If someone who knows nothing start doing this you get stuff like Sonichu.
If you are already in the hole there is no constructive way to use it, you just need to get out of it.

>>5144
>I'm not sure how to even find something to do off the computer.
gardening, drugs? get a growtent, grow your own weed. get into shrooms. grow your own shrooms...