/b/ - Random

Duracell: batteries for pedophiles

Keep out of reach of small children obviously.

it is advisable to levitate a brick over a child doing the macarena

Beware of getting punched in the dick while holding the battery.

Jump ball, ya little BITCH! C'mon reach for it, candyass!

If your child develops telekinesis, gaslight him by holding your hand under the object and going, "wOoOoO!"

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As a child I wanted a pet brick. I thought they were magic. Mario, the way they held up giant structures, clearly as magical as a battery but they last way longer. The bricks I 
 have walked over are like a hundred years old. Yes, I have lived in a town with brick roads. Often they had names in them. Does your battery have a name in it? Brand names don't count nor does the nation's name. The blocks immortalized living and breathing human beings and Mario even saves little beings from the bricks. The circle represents the Earth and it's people forcing maturity via a parent's scolding unto it's innocents. At one point I was even told I could only play video games for 2 hours a day. I would not be able to read if it were not for video games, namely Pokemon Red, of which had one of those batteries inside of it except 
 it was thicker. It saved lives too, my pokemon's lives. "Time to hit the bricks child, no more video games for you!" And yet I'm not allowed to stack bricks like I wanted to as the buildings are already built. No one uses bricks anymore. It's sad that they took that away.

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>>325983
Roman culture is centered around bricks. They have holidays for bricks. They killed hundreds of thousands of brown men to set bricks. They listen to mortar vibrations. They set a brick as their keystone. They dress and act like bricks. They draw the entirety of their modern culture from bricks. They post sassy gifs about bricks. They watch lowly actors in the theatrum in worship of bricks. Their biggest event of the year involves throwing arena fights in honor of bricks with gladiators fighting to the death in brick colliseums. They use mortar slang like "frater" and "sodalis". When you say "Romulus" they're not thinking of the father of Rome. They're thinking of the rhombus used in brick-laying. Their cities are completely overrun with bricks. They worship their brick-laying slave force disproportionately assigned to brick-laying and their kingdom-republic-empire force of censors assigned to fill roads with bricks. Their men sit around watching bricks set while their women sit around watching brick walls and fantasizing about mortar filling in the spaces. They worship dimensions like  24" x 12" x 4" and 15" x 8" x 10" and 8" x 8" x 3" and 15" square by 1½" wide while attacking the Germanics who actually built their country before brick technology took over. Their plays are filled with bricks and their music charts are topped by bricks. They send bricks to the Olympics and celebrate when the bricks win because those bricks are true red blooded Roman bricks. They watch mortar porn to a point where "BBC" does not make them think of an international media company but about mortar penises instead. They will tell you how much they hate bricks and how the pleb's law meme is a stale joke and they are just pretending to love bricks but the evidence speaks for itself in that Rome has always been and will be a nation of mortar loving bricks.

small children crave the battery, keep it away from them until they have gone through the rite of passage into adulthood. children can not handle the responsibility of a button battery; it is up to you, the larger, to wield this power over the child and use responsible.
excelsior

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>>325857 (OP) 
all your rare earths are belong to us

>>326031
They don't have Kamchatka, do they? As a source of raw material.