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Hello everyone, Sturgeon here, your beloved administrator.
Today, I decided to finally bring zzzchan into the future by introducing zzzchan 2.0, hopefully fixing the many issues that have affected the site over the years, and maybe, collaterally, bringing some of the userbase back, 99.99% of which clearly left us for greener pastures a long time ago.
I will now be outlining a few future changes that will be implemented in the immediate short term.
>moderation
First of all we will be removing Joyeuse from /b/ as well as every other moderator deemed clearly unfit for the role. Instead we will begin an application process with proper screening and vetting of potential mods. No more first come first serve and random people getting accepted into the team and then doing as they please. Only people that show real understanding of how moderation should be done and true interest in making the place better rather than satisfying their whims will be hired to volunteer. Furthermore the mod pools will be increased significantly with mods coming from all timezones, so there will be no more holes in moderation during "dead" hours.
>transparency
For too long I've been silent about what goes on in the background, updates about the site have been spread very thin and with too little information. Furthermore, I realize I've neglected opening a conversation with the userbase to understand its actual needs. As an admin, these surely look like signs of disinterest and make the whole site look abandoned which in turn leads to more people leaving making matters worse, in a loop of negative feedback. To fix this starting with this thread and then, moving forward, once every 2 months I will be available to an open Q/A thread discussing with anons about what isn't working and needs to be done in order to satisfy the users' needs. Moreover, I will commit to regular and thorough updates and more open communication through the "News" section on the homepage.
>social media presence and promotion
Ever since its inception zzzchan has been advertised solely through word of mouth within relevant circles without any advertising of any kind, anywhere at all. In my inexperience and ignorance I thought this still would be enough to bring in a significant core userbase. Time has proven I was wrong. In order to put zzzchan on the map I will be making a number of official accounts on relevant social media platforms, such as x/twitter, bluesky, steam etc. Mind you this is not just an advertising stunt, but it also helps with decentralizing communications so people can always have a reference point and an avenue of contact with the admin and moderation team, should the site not be reachable for any reason. Being completely in the dark during a temporary outage will be a thing of the past.

These are just the main points but there is much more in the works, and much more to be done in the future.
nigger
DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE
Thank you for your service, Sturgeon. Day of the Filet has been postponed due to your good work.
Replies: >>314953
well memed
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Literally all you had to do is not delete content that wasn't illegal and not allow people to spam the catalog and we would have been fine. That is true /b/ culture and not only are we slowly leaking users, but we aren't attracting any new users either
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>>314906 (OP) 
This kind of communication will go very far when it comes to achieving good things.
Don't let the retards bring you down (pun intended).
Remember that perfect can be the enemy of the good, yet you came close with this high quality post.
Godspeed.
Replies: >>314953
Just want to say fuck Joyeuse for removing a few of my posts.
Also, I don't think posting this on x/twitter/etc. is a good idea.
Replies: >>314931
>april fools day
Replies: >>314929 >>314933
>>314927
If it's an april fools joke it's a really bad one
Replies: >>314953
>>314923
>a few
>>314927
This and it's really obvious, lol.
Replies: >>314937
>>314933
What the fuck are you talking about dude? This is totally real and you know it. Don't pull an April Fool's on us for listening to our benevolent admin's words.
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Is Mads still banned?
Replies: >>314953
>greener pastures
you mean twitter? ib's are dead
Replies: >>314951
>>314949
>green
>twatter
blue pastures
>>314906 (OP) 
I was going to give this a silly ban message because the default /b/ theme makes impersonating me all too easy, but you raise too many points that I really need to address. I'll make a dedicated thread for that. 

>>314947
Just don't spam him constantly in every thread, that was the only actual problem with Mads posting. 

>>314919
>>314914
>>314929
I'm not OP, this was an april fools joke.
>>314953
starlink
>>314953
project bluebeam
>>314906 (OP) 
gay, mods are gay, etc. 
also sagespamming for a get is culture not a crime.
Replies: >>314959
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>>314953
>>314956
This post >>300000 is still up and the poster did a small amount of spamming to acquire it, but they're also not a soyjak tranny and they cleaned up after themselves.
Replies: >>315104
>314962
>t. first day intern from india reading first page of innovative tactics handbook written by kikes
>>314953
>I'm not OP, this was an april fools joke.
the fact it needs to be said shows how over it really is
>>314972
>it's over because ESL retards cant into April Fools' Day
lol
>>314972
Its joever. The rocks have neither eyes nor ears. They can not discern the nuances of sarcasm either. Days like this seem like excellent opprotunities to weather out storms of hail. Like that of rocks.
>>314972
That anyone posting here doesn't know what a capcode is and how it works is entirely on them. RTFM was shortened because it was used often. Then it was labeled as disrespectful, lol.
>>314972
Nah man, OP is clearly the real Sturgeon. >>314953 is an impostor.
Replies: >>314985
>>314984
That clearly shows in the order of designators.
I like that the owner of the site is being falseflagged, now. That seems the logical conclusion of the falseflagging that has existed as one of zzzchan's more prominent pastimes.
>>314959
well every time I ever did it mods kept on trying to ban me and I had to use vpns. pretty gay tbh.
zzzchan 2.0 would happen in a better timeline. We unfortunately don't deserve it.
>>315107
You like to think people can deserve anything, don't ya
Replies: >>315109 >>315110
>>315108
Eh idk, I don't really post as much on this board like I used to. I usually just go to /v/ or /k/
>>315108
As Clint Eastwood once said, "Deserve ain't got nothing to do with it."
>>315107
>web 2.0 or 3.0 would be great for zzzchan, might bring it in line with instagram or twitter
>>315107
No one deserves what they haven't fought to earn. What have YOU done to earn a better image board?
Replies: >>315129
>>315120
What have you done to deserve the alphabet you are typing with?
I want to insert something into that big gaping mouth of yours
>changes board settings
Makes zero sense. I don't have access to them. Not surprised to learn a retard shitting itself over loli drawings is also schizophrenic and hallucinating things.
Replies: >>315222 >>315250
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>>314906 (OP) 
You dare tease us like this
Replies: >>315872
>>315218
>changes board settings when spamming his pedophilia 
get it right, pedophile
Replies: >>315223
>>315222
>schizo retard argues with lolispammer
>thinks it is me because another schizo retard always accuses lolispammer of being me with zero evidence
Keep projecting, nonce.
Why the fuck would I ban myself or contribute to autistic thread derailment like that anyway? Let's hear your crackpot theory, you gay little sperg.
>>315218
>everyone I don't like is some retard getting mad over lolis
Absolutely hilarious. Maybe if you gained some self-awareness, you'd realize it would be a good idea not to ban everyone you project your own pedophilia onto like the sweaty nonce you are.
Replies: >>315251 >>315862
>>315250
<n-no ur projecting
Nigger, he's wrong in everyone sense of the word. The only time I would post a loli would be a reaction image, which I'm not sure I've ever done on this website because I personally do consider people obsessed with loli images to be latent pedophiles. At the same time, why would I use a fucking website where cartoons girls get posted? Why are you using this website in that case, if you think usage of such a site implies pedophilia yourself? I will say this again: I would not entrust loli posters alone around real children. Furthermore, I try to avoid banning retards like you, especially for lengthy periods, but I will extensively ban autistic retards for pressing a resolved problem after the fact. How the fuck am I wrong for that? I will equivocally delete both loli spam and whinging about pedophilia in threads entirely divorced from that topic. Forcing this argument in every fucking thread isn't going to magically cause loli hentai to be banned. I suggest you use a different board if you can't handle it at all.
>'cos someone else who isnt me made the exact same complaint or post
Yeah fucking right. Eat shit.
Replies: >>315252
>>315251
I ain't reading allat bud. Sorry you've got your pedophilic tendencies. Maybe you should see a professional about it.
Replies: >>315253
>>315252
<I am a gay pedophile nigger and can't read a paragraph due to ADHD, please kill me.
Replies: >>315254
>>315253
>I am a gay pedo but I'll project that onto you so I can feel better about myself
Thanks for admitting it. Again, don't hurt actual kids and see a licensed therapist, and we won't have any further problems.
Replies: >>315255 >>315862
>>315254
>u-ur projecting ur insult to me onto you
How fucking boring. Stay niggered, retard.
Replies: >>315256
>>315255
Calm down, it's just an imageboard.
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ITT:
>OP can decide between post IDs enabled or disabled when creating the thread for all posts in it
Would that be retarded or handy to have?
Replies: >>315271
>>315269
Is samefagging bad enough of a problem here? Mods can spot it in any case.
Replies: >>315272 >>315273
>>315271
IDs wouldn't help anyway. Look to /v/ and /tech/ with the fucking retard niggerpill. IDs only exist as a convenience for some who post in good faith, but not all. They were retarded on 8chan and ever since.
Replies: >>315273
>>315271
>>315272
I'm curious where it would lead. To more threads with IDs on or off. Haven't you noticed that web browsers assimilate into their core functionality those features that were only an extension/plugin/etc before, depending on their popularity? It's a similar thought process. And I'm tired of some ambiguity that I consider unnecessary. I return from time to time to the same thread and extend the same line of thought from time to time, if the subject I drone on is too broad to be contained in a single post. It's a hassle to post with a flag, and tripfagging is not something I like either. I want something between just out of laziness, admittedly.
Replies: >>315276
>>314953
>"I will make a thread and address things that really need addressing"
>doesn't make a thread
This was the official zzzchan April fools joke.
Replies: >>315291
>>315273
And sockpuppetry is a thing too, I know that. Nothing is perfect.
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>>315275
Replies: >>315299
>>315291
This is literally me, I'm not even joking. When I go outside I just start randomly chuckling to myself while I think about funny internet pictures.
But it's really not all that bad. I have always thought that if one day I go insane, I'd wanna be the laughing type, not the screaming type.
Replies: >>315300
>>315299
>grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and, brother, I hurt people
<sir this is a wendy's
Replies: >>315307
>>315300
BONK!
Tf2 is gay
Replies: >>315318 >>315375
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>>315310
Surprise!
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>>315318
omw to fuk ur mom
Replies: >>315368
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>>315338
Good luck, take this shovel and have fun.
>>315310
counterpoint: what you like is gay, cringe and bluepilled, what I like is based and redpilled
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goddammit tewi, i already told you to stop giving my stuff to random people. i just bought that shovel!
Replies: >>315384
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>>315378
Christ is Reisen.
Replies: >>315386
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>>315384
in that case i worship christ
Replies: >>315389
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>>315386
You're doing it wrong. Here is how you ship Reisen to wor.
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you know a site is fucked when a shitposter's "joke" post makes more sense than anything the admin could come up with. it's pretty telling when not even the guy who pays the bills can show up once a day to get rid of content that could put him in jail and then goes about making posts like these >>314953 barely pretending to care.
Replies: >>315801
>>315797
Yeah it's rather insulting too
It's like if Stalin made an announcement about removing Beria and doing massive reforms to the Soviet system only for him to start laughing mid sentence and saying "and comrades say I don't laugh at jokes".
>>315806
I'm lurking in another imageboard and the same pics are sometimes posted there too. How?
Replies: >>315813
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>>315810
>How?
Wizardry from beyond this realm.
>>315815
altchans are fucked cause everybody wants to stick to 4cuck and the mods are just as corrupt as your local reddit and discord moderator
There's a reason why they say "power corrupts"
Replies: >>315825
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WHY IS THE GODDAMN PIZZA STILL UP AND BEING BUMPED  A FULL DAY LATER!?? Do your job you fucking niggers.
>>315817
>power corrupts.
If you really believe this inane trash, cut off your hands so you may cleanse yourself from corruptive power.
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>>315825
>cut off your hands so you may cleanse yourself from corruptive power.
Like this?
>>315826
>Nigger porn posting 
OH BOB SAGET!
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>>315825
repeat. officer down
Replies: >>315836
>>315825
>WHY IS THE GODDAMN PIZZA STILL UP AND BEING BUMPED  A FULL DAY LATER!?? 
mods aren't done masturbating to it and cataloguing it in their cheese pizza hard drives
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>>315834
We have an officer down iinn uhhhh......hove beach
>>315837
Ergo; if CP is left on the catalog for too long, along with other abhorrent posts that should be deleted, spam nigger porn to get their attention.
Is this correct?
Replies: >>315842
>>315839
Everything is getting more retarded unfortunately. Clown world isn't done until we are all one with Idiocracy
>>315839
Makes me want to go back to 2021 of all years when this board had some semblance of soul, if only because the usebase consisted of lost souls from /b2/ and /v/irgins that didn't want anything to do with Mark Mann.
The most annoying user was the Larpenter who was quickly bullied off, and has stayed away.
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>>315837
>>315838
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>>315825
>Finally deleted.
Credit to you mod man, please pay more attention in the future.
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This has been a bizarre month
>>315847
He's probably on vacation
>>315847
>what happened to joyeuse
arrested for 2d child porn
>>315846
rare kek Schmittian meme
>>315847
Not enough posters to powertrip anymore.
>>315859
>report all anti-Joyeuse posts
I'm not doing that, but good luck
>>315859
Nein, let the sword man deal with it
>>315250
>>315254
This guy is Just Joshing, a literal pajeet from Discord who wull never EVER stop raging ovwr Karl Jobst losing. Remind him that Karl lost, he'll never be white, and to go to church.
>>315859
ill make bella fucking ban you dumb fucking bitch i know your handle stop stirring shit you dumb whore
>>315859
There's been constant falseflags here since like 2024
I made the post. Had 3 different drafts kicking around, come have a look: >>>/meta/5435

>>315219
Have the real thing.
Replies: >>318343
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>supports joyeuse
>goes out of their way to make an adminpost about it
This site is completely and utterly dead. Where to next? Is there a uncensored /b/ left on the internet?
Replies: >>316046
>>316038
you could always go back to the sharty
Replies: >>316053
>>316046
>Sharty
requires niggerscript
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>>316058
>bottom left
I thought Maui became a demigod, how has he fallen so far?
>>316058
So which one of them is caught because of unlawful conduct concerning 2d? Faggot.
Replies: >>316099
>>316060
He is functionally illiterate and doesn't understand what he reads and writes. Just point and laugh, but don't actually point anything out to him.
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>>316097
Replies: >>316101
>>316100
Calling him that doesn't work, he just thinks you're wheels and lame and starts talking shit about you.
It's like beating a pigeon at chess: it doesn't know it lost and it's still going to strut around and shit on the board like it won anyway.
>>316058
>>316097
>>316102
>android screenshot filenames
filthy phoneposter, wouldn't put it past the wheels schizo THOUGH
>>>/meta/5598
Fishman the images/files backend broke
>Error code: 520 No Reason Phrase
Also includes captchas so posting on the no-captcha board here.
Replies: >>317993
>this site has been blocked by cloudfare for 2 whole days
Sturgeonfish the fuck?
Replies: >>317993
((( Cloudflare )))
Replies: >>317993 >>318341
>>317985
>>317987
>>317989
Demoralisation shill working overtime.
Replies: >>318000
>>317993
Demoralisation shill slacking on the job.
Replies: >>318021
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>>318000
I hope Daed breaks up with you, he deserves better
>>314953
*poke*

So uh... what's happening on this front, chief?

>>317989
Someone explain this triple parentheses meme to me. I've honestly never understood it.
>>318341
>>>/meta/
>>318341
>>315872
>>>/meta/5435
>explain this triple parentheses meme
You're supposed to read it in the famous jewish pedophile Hollywood producer Woody Allen's beleaguered, raspy rat voice.
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>>318341
>Someone explain this triple parentheses meme to me.
It's referencing the jewish takeover of Western finance, LAW, "Healthcare" (Drugs,) Media, Education and Entertainment.
Some would call it a "Dogwhistle" but it's so blatant, it's hardly that.
Here:
>pic1
hope that helps.
>*Remember GOY, we can be as nationalist, racist and prejudiced as we want, by YOU are merely a beast of the field and as such, cannot even question our right to be so. Now bend over and TAKE IT!

Maybe if you got kicked out of 109 countries for taking over the money supply, destroying social cohesion and basically lying, cheating and stealing, it's not the countries that are the problem.
>>318341
You're on the fucking Internet. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triple_parentheses
Replies: >>318353
>>318352
>You're on the fucking Internet. 
>Uses ((( Wikipedos )))
...Oh the Ironing!

Jus' Sayin'
Replies: >>318355
>>318353
>pedo
You keep using that word...
Replies: >>318356
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>>318355
Checked
Yes, because there are these things in the world that are pedophiles.
I'm pointing out that Wikipedia is comprised of Liberal SJW editors who are inherently "On board with" and carry water for the current agenda, which includes every flavor of sexual degeneracy.

Pedos get the rope.

It's not that hard to understand.

This does tie directly into the ((())) question.
>>318356
Some people can't help going on autopilot.
Replies: >>318362 >>318799
>>318361
Like
>anyone who can fap to Dare Ni Mo Ienai Koto should get the rope too
Because that would remove all echoes without fail, lol. Or maybe make someone chase a different tail instead.
Replies: >>318799
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>>318361
IME, at least 80% of people are on auto-pilot as a default,(in life, not screaming into the E-Void)
I think very often you'll see Boomers post everywhere in all-caps, because they don't see so well anymore
>Time to get that reverse mortgage so I can have my $120K eye operation and go on $6K/4xannually support medication so's I can watch muh TeeVee... Already spent the kid's inheritance on muh cruise ships trips...that new HoverRound® was a GOD send for the promenade deck
>>318362
I don't get the reference.
Replies: >>318827
>>318356
Jews eat meat, so you should be a vegan.
But Jews are also vegans too, so you should just stop eating anything.
Stop breathing too, because Jews do that all the time, it's very characteristically Jewish to consume air. Anon.
Jews wear all kinds of clothing, so you should go naked.
Most music is produced by Jews, you don't listen to music, do you?
Just stop doing anything, then you won't be doing Jew shit anymore.
Because we all know Jews are something you do or say, not something you are.

Also pedophilia isn't a sexuality, sexualities are tied to which genitalia, chromosomes, and physical characteristics you are attracted to, aka your preference in gender (meaning biological sex) of your sexual partners.

Pedophiles have a sexuality, either hetero, homo, or bi. But that's another thing about them that interacts with their pedophilia in what the youngest age of boy girl or both they would be able to get aroused by.

Additionally there's also the degree of attractiveness to the pedophile of the particular child they are attracted to, they are not attracted to all children of the sex of compatible with their sexual orientation, just the ones they find to be the most attractive members of the children of their preferred sex.

Also what pedophilia is, is a normal sexual mind with the abnormal difference of lacking a filter that shuts down attraction to those who appear to be below a certain age.

For a normal bloke, he's into ladies who are over some age and under some other age, and for the peso that's the care as well, but what's different is that the lower age that they'd be able to get randy for is lower than where the normal bloke stops being able to feel a desire for the girls he's looking at.

As such, most pedos are 100% into women that youd be into, but also go after females who are under the age youd stop chasing after them at.

Normal relationships are just as possible for them as they are for you, but younger girls are preferred because if you get them at one age, you also can get to have them at that age plus one, since they only get older and never younger.

The reason pedos exist is because being one allows a sub3 to land an 11/10 by getting in with her when she's prepubertal, and building that bond with her so that when she's of age to make babies, she will be making them with him.

That is the evolutionary psychology of it, and why the pedophile is usually a sub5 at best when you see them.
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>>318820
>Now THIS is PILPUL!
Replies: >>318823
>>318822
How so?
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>>318820
Fun to read, appreciated.
>>318799
The reference is sad panda gated and easily mistaken with some unrelated NTR title. But still obtainable elsewhere.
Replies: >>318842
>>318820
The most common kind of pedophile is a heterosexual man who likes little girls under the age of eight or nine.

I think all the lolicon speaks for itself, this was more common before 2014 when the kikes took over the imageboards, and since then anti pedo shit has grown dramatically. So what are the yids trying to get you to do, anon?

The rich and powerful are fucking little girls, okay, yes, because they can, they are exempt from the laws that govern you and will do whatever they want to do, as well as what ever you want to do, too.

The operations on little st James and in deer island were the kikes using sex with kids to control the most influential members of your society through offering them the exclusive privilege of sex with little children in the security of the secrecy only the bankers could provide. 

Those same bankers also wanted to make sure the monopoly on the supply of childsex was maintained by them, unchallenged, if you were a pedophile you couldn't stick your dick in a loli unless you did it through them, they made it so that you couldn't even see cp to whack off imagining what it would be like to crack a minor.

The same people providing childsex to the rich and famous were also the ones making sure you cant ever do it, unless you had something to offer them for them to allow you to have the privileges to enjoy this luxury.

They are also the ones responsible for preserving the taboo, such as these posts being deleted and my account being b& for illustrating the obvious truth to you.

They want you hunting the pedophiles because you help keep their operations running. What pedos you bust are all the Ines who threaten their hegemony on the wealthiest and most powerful people in your society.

Thanks for propping up their regine.
>>318828
>>318356
The only reason the aoc was low was that the jews had arranged marriages and people were engaged for years before they had actual sex. In the 1960s when "free love" happened  they upped the aoc FAST.
Replies: >>319299
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>>318827
K
>>318828
Why do you poast like a Plebbit moderator?
>site host keeps shitting the bed when I want to visit
Bravo
>>318356
I think I felt part of my soul die watching these.
Replies: >>319063
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>>319061
Don't despair, the fact that it effects you Is a good sign.
The time to worry is when you become numb to it.
I used to think I was becoming somewhat psychopathic from the emotional hardening that occurred   from seeing gore on other sites..
then a Chink hate thread would show commonplace "Food preparation" or some true sociopath would post NEDM shit and I would be right back to squeamish and saddened.

Turns out, people are far more corrupt and disposable than most animals are to my heart.

This is how you know that God is an absentee landlord.

Report CP early and often. Like the garbage in the /b/ catalog right now.

The day is fast approaching when the torpor and detachment of the masses that allows this shit will no longer be an option.

Roofholes all around.

Have some big bouncing Boobies
Replies: >>319068
>>319063
>reddit spacing
shut up moralfag
Replies: >>319086
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>>319068
That's not Plebbit spacing, retard
Plebbot spacing is when there's a space directly after the post # AND single spaced sentences after, due to the shitty set-up they have over there apparently.
(you)
Gotta be a fl4m3b0t, since your gormless replies belie your low intelligence.
Almost robot-like
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>>318828
>child sexual abuse is just booze and should be legal to fix the problem
kys peod
>>318832
You mean the upped the AOC so women can't be pure and have a pair bond is what you mean
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