/hikki/ - Hikikomori

>>960
Who are you replying to?  What does your post even mean?

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>>676

>>770
Update: I did not do this.

Hey BOfag, is a battlestation/room thread ok? Or is it a strictly japanese thing to make it nice?

>>1012
It doesn't matter.

>>732
I guess I just liked the fact somebody acknowledged my ICO related post, albeit two years later.

>>733
I keep seeing this whenever I load up this board, and want to join the ICO talk, but can't really think of anything to say...

test

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>>959
Start yourself.

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I can't suicide because I have a soul.
All I can do is ask God to give me comfort, and to come fetch me soon. I'm on my last bit of will.
But I'm happy about the last 7 or so years of struggles, because it's helped me free myself from the chains of this world and flesh (sins like gluttony, wrath, lust, etc.).

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My tinnitus has been slowly getting worse and worse and worse.  If I commit suicide, I'm pretty sure that it'll be due to it.  It sounds lame because it's so minor compared to some of the other pain people deal with on a daily basis, but it's more of a Chinese-water-torture kind of thing.  Having had doctors shrug me off about it over the years doesn't help.

I think the only reason I haven't so far is just because my fear of pain is so high.  Even when I hold the metaphorical gun, I just imagine the intense pain--however brief--and it's always enough to scare me off from it.

I also frequently imagine what would happen if we lived in a world where suicide was normalized.  Like if the goddess Ixtab was a thing and it was just a totally normal part of culture to commit suicide whenever you wanted to.  I imagine that the world would have to be a much nicer place.  Because anything that would make that world bad would have people offing themselves like crazy.

>>914
might wanna try one of those experimental treatments to cure it

Suicide is for the truly brave.

After 15 years outside society, I don't even think about suicide as a choice anymore but as a natural progression of my life. At some point I will kill myself. It's just the way I'll die, if I won't die of a random stroke from the vaxx or stabbed by a nigger. The current state of my life is so precarious that any change will mean I'll have to end it.
And that's OK, because there's literally nothing in this world that brings me joy, and the few things that did were ruined for me by people or bad luck.

it depends, 'inherent worth' has many meanings, value as a blank slate? resourcefulness? practical value?

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>>1020
Literally, the worth inherited. A combination of genetic and upbringing factors that form a baseline of mental, social and physical capacities that are always being judged. Deviation is possible, but with disproportionate effort and limited results. Requirements further increase and returns further diminish with age. Furthermore, initial lacking can hardly be concealed: developed deviation from own baseline would be second-rate to the natural baseline difference, source of insecurity and behavioral anomalies that can be detected.  

A lacking organism and well-adjusted organism may be going through the same motions, but difference in performance, perception and reactions would always remain apparent.

>>1024
yes, normies can be very blind to things like this as they tend to live on autopilot, but personaly i dislike talking about this, behavior and value being such volatile phenomena, "justifying" things on it sounds whiny, as anything can justified on determinism if one plays enough mental gymnastics with the scope, but i may be coping

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>>1026
While it is not about determinism, whether future is pre-defined or not is irrelevant. There is no subjective difference between making a choice and being convinced you're making a choice, so this is a non-factor in making choices.

It is about recognizing own limitations, accepting that some areas of your personal development are simply not worthfile beyond absolute minimum necessary. It's like joining some MMO server with no knowledge of mechanics or character progression where everyone have been grinding and learning tricks for 20-30 years, except with, for example, social development, finding some equal-level peers would be even less likely as there is no twink characters. Trying to compete with hardened veterans as equals, contrary to some of those veterans' opinion, is a losing proposition, it's nearly impossible to overtake literal decades of advantage, but learning absolute minimum to fend them off and escape from direct confrontations is doable.

This is frankly why private property matters but usury should be outlawed.

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[Hip-Hop]
Yury - Branded
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdzFRpnlkzc&list=PL9MEKeO45UtUH52H5VSIUIACSxU1rC6jl&index=88

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[SyntWave]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hxhh3GXkOtU
Emil Rottmayer - Ultraviolet

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>>136 (OP) 
picrelated is approximately me in my room
>wake whenever i usually have nice dreams and i always hate when they end
>do fuck all until i get tired, lurking imageboards is most of it, if i have energy i consume popular media i torrented
>maybe have one meal during the day but usually none at all
>fall asleep whenever i try to sleep as much as possible because i don't want to be conscious
i can't wait until god sends to anime world afterlife where im happy

>wake up 6-11am
>drink coffee or green tea
>often times smoke weed
>???

>wake up
>listen to cute anime girl music
>read the few new posts on a few slow imageboards
>make a few posts, get b& a few times, ban evade a few times
>piss, cum and shit
>eat and drink
>watch anime
>go to sleep when tired
fuck God and fuck any faggot that worships him

>wake up @ random hour
>spend 2-5h fantasizing in bed
>do chores if theyre very piled up
>eat whatever is about to expire
>browse porn & youtube, pretending im self improving
>maybe shower if it doesnt get in the way of others schedules
>maybe workout if i showered recently
>checkup on everyone a couple times a day to humor them so i dont get kicked out
>go to sleep after being awake 6-40h

>>136 (OP) 
>Wake up
>Dread
>Despair
>Lament over my own Damnation
>Go to bed

>>964
I really like NHK as a piece of literature for that same reason, it doesn't need to be a self-help book, give you a lesson or something like that. Just tell a story, then you could interpret it how you want.

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There's a Buffalo '66 reference in each version.

>>921
i can relate with the "keeping a safe distance is key to making it last".
i have trouble making any friendship last, i think i shild myself of emotions and eventually i get distant of genuinely nice people sometimes. my only lasting "buddy" is a guy that i know from 2013 at the church.
i think it only lasted that long because we barely interact, we stay months or years without seeing each other (last time i saw him was 2021).
i took my time to notice that behaviour in my psyche, i think it was caused by how my mom raised me.

we need a Hitler figure to whip us into shape

>>992
No Hitler can outhitler the Hitler within our hearts, Brüder...

>>1003
least based zzzchanner

>>989
This.

hey there, 
i'm also about to meet an old friend next month, he contacted me some months ago. it has been preety bad for me lately, i've been stuck in my home for months now.
maybe in the next weeks i will go back to look for a job, it has been an excruciating task.

>>1006 (OP) 
>VN
>together
Either you are the luckiest motherfucker ever or just gay.

one of the worst vns ever, couldnt finish it
>story about to get good
>shitty immersion destroying sex scene with an essays worth of text
>new thing commences
>repeat